Happy Birthday Tejal.
I can never forget this night a year ago.
It was not just another winter night.
I was in the nursing home with my mom and aunt. Sleepy, yet sleepless because of pain. The gynaecologist had come and gone. The nurses kept coming and going. Your heart-beats were monitored. We could hear your heartbeats loud? even before we could see you.
It seemed to be the longest night ever. Every 5-10 minutes, there was a sharp pain. I tried almost evrything that I could think of ? distract your thoughts, breath deep, breathe in ? breathe out ? everything that could possibly reduce the pain. But the pain and the night seemed endless .....
I can never forget this night a year ago.
It was not just another winter night.
I was in the nursing home with my mom and aunt. Sleepy, yet sleepless because of pain. The gynaecologist had come and gone. The nurses kept coming and going. Your heart-beats were monitored. We could hear your heartbeats loud? even before we could see you.
It seemed to be the longest night ever. Every 5-10 minutes, there was a sharp pain. I tried almost evrything that I could think of ? distract your thoughts, breath deep, breathe in ? breathe out ? everything that could possibly reduce the pain. But the pain and the night seemed endless .....
The pain kept increasing. At about 3:00am, my mom called the nurse who injected a needle in my arm for saline drops. We kept hoping that you would come to this world soon and relieve me of the pain but the nurses kept telling us that it would take time? few more hours !!
About 10:00 am and I was getting exhausted and trying my best to be patient. The only question I was asking was? how long? how much more time?? Finally I was taken to the ?Labor Room?? and then started another round of efforts to bring you into this world ? more hours in pain.
I asked the nurses and Doctor if I could get something to reduce the pain but I was told how could there be child-birth without pain !! I only wished the medical science in India was more advanced to be able to provide painless child-birth or child-birth with reduced pain !!
All my efforts did not seem to be enough. I tried all my will power not to scream in pain? but I did? sometimes. My will power was diminishing and I finally told the Doctor I could not make more efforts. She kept trying but prepared for the Caesarian as well? but it was not required. At 1:20 pm on 26th jan '05, you came to this world.
I only remember asking if you were a boy or a girl, heard you cry, felt another sort of pain as the Gynaecologist injected me with an anaesthesia while she continued giving me stitches ? and I was unconscious.
When I regained consciousness, I was on the stretcher, being taken to another room. As I tried to open my eyes I saw and heard my father congratulate me.
The ultrasound report and the doctor had told your size was big. You were thin but tall, 3.4 Kg and with a lot of black hair.
The pain was still unbearable because of the stitches and made me unable to sit. When I tried to sit and hold you for the first time, I was again unconscious.
My colleagues, who were also young mothers, had told me that you forget all pain when you hold your baby for the first time. Yes, the pain seemed never-ending ? but just the sight of you, another life, small hands and feet, small fingers? all a part of you? seemed to be amazing.
At this time I could feel what my mother must have felt when she held me, her first baby, for the first time and what probably you would feel when you have your first baby. As many have said - this pain and this feeling is something only a woman can experience... the experience of nurturing a life within you for nine months and seeing it live and kicking and crying after your encounter with pain.
All my efforts did not seem to be enough. I tried all my will power not to scream in pain? but I did? sometimes. My will power was diminishing and I finally told the Doctor I could not make more efforts. She kept trying but prepared for the Caesarian as well? but it was not required. At 1:20 pm on 26th jan '05, you came to this world.
I only remember asking if you were a boy or a girl, heard you cry, felt another sort of pain as the Gynaecologist injected me with an anaesthesia while she continued giving me stitches ? and I was unconscious.
When I regained consciousness, I was on the stretcher, being taken to another room. As I tried to open my eyes I saw and heard my father congratulate me.
The ultrasound report and the doctor had told your size was big. You were thin but tall, 3.4 Kg and with a lot of black hair.
The pain was still unbearable because of the stitches and made me unable to sit. When I tried to sit and hold you for the first time, I was again unconscious.
My colleagues, who were also young mothers, had told me that you forget all pain when you hold your baby for the first time. Yes, the pain seemed never-ending ? but just the sight of you, another life, small hands and feet, small fingers? all a part of you? seemed to be amazing.
At this time I could feel what my mother must have felt when she held me, her first baby, for the first time and what probably you would feel when you have your first baby. As many have said - this pain and this feeling is something only a woman can experience... the experience of nurturing a life within you for nine months and seeing it live and kicking and crying after your encounter with pain.
4 comments:
Good that you share this experience so that people like me can know more about the pain women go through.
other thoughts come in my mind, what was the situation about baby birth before 50 years or right now in villages?? other female animals?? you had doctors but what about them? what can be their experience? I cant imagine..
Yes, it is very easy to mock or comment on a woman when she cries, when she appears to be weak in certain situations .. without understanding about lots of other things and pains that she undergoes. It appears such a normal thing to give birth to a child.. something that is almost taken for granted. But ask the woman who has undergoe it !!
Whatever I know about 50 years ago and even now in villages, the infant mortality rate was higher and so was the case with women when the child-brth was not under the supervision of medically tarined people or doctors.
As far as physical pain goes, I'm sure even female animals undergo that. I have heard and read about painless delivery or delivery with reduced pain in the US, but not in India. I know women who have opted for Caesarin (surgery) rather than normal delivery so that they don't have to undergo long painful hours ... only undergo the pain of a surgery. However, the extent of pain and complexity varies from woman to women. Yes, it can't be imagined ...
hi seema!!
i cant even write that i understand ur position..i was not in ur shoes..but where did u get delivery done?in 2005 painless delivery options were pretty much available in india,delhi to be more specific.
by the way i have also dome my AMMM from NIFT delhi.
How's tejal now? might be going to school.It's a long time since i have contacted u?
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